when i was a kid i had a bun. not a turban, just really long hair tied up as a bun on top of my head. my parents thought it would be cute to keep a bun on their youngest and i gotta say, i was pretty damn cute in my bun. i don't remember much about having it though. my most vivid memory was when a friend put dirt in my hair and i went completely ape shit. i hated him for the longest time and would clench my fists anytime someone even said his name. now he's the only person i talk to from my hometown. eventually my parents decided to cut my hair before i went to kindergarten. i think my mom still has my baby hair in a bag somewhere. she kept it because of its illustrious shine and silky smoothness.

the haircut for most of elementary school was short, parted on the side, not the middle. the side part looked less lame then one on the middle.

the hair stayed pretty much the same till about grade 7. that's when i grew a mullet. you're probably laughing, but mullets were the coolest thing since sliced bread (sliced bread having been invented the summer before). i loved my mullet. if i pulled it down on the sides, i could touch each end right under my chin. that was the litmus test for optimal mullet length. the mullet only lasted a year because the following year i found a cup-and-ball game that made me completely forget about my hair (man, you never know which way that crazy ball was going to go!).

grade 11 and 12 i grew my hair long again. i was a punk rocker. i was listening to Operation Ivy and Green Day now, not the gangsta rap of junior high. it was long on top but not along the sides. i hate having hair on the side of my head touching my ear. the top was long and combed completely back. if i didn't have gel in, it fell straight and limp to the sides. after graduation the hair was gone. but the punk never left.

when i came to vancouver to go to university, a friend took me out "to do something about my hair". i went to see a "stylist" who massaged my head and charged me $50. the "new hair style" i got that day did away with parting my hair on the side and did away with combs. i could now comb my hair forward with my fingers and some gel. apparently some guy with no spine who used to be an extra on Roseanne and was now on some Doctor show (i think it was called The Show With Doctors In It) started this craze. either way, i liked it.

and that's pretty much what it's like now. not specifically combed forward, more like pointed in that direction and just sitting there. short. low maintenance. in the mornings i wet my hair, rub some gel and run my fingers once or twice through my hair. done.

oh, and it's still more illustrious than a thousand kings and virtually brimming with silky smoothness.