Friday, June 14, 2002

this picture pretty much sums up why i hate tom cruise. l. ron hubbard's clones must have sold him that smile so he could reach that operating thetan level VIII. the only good movies he's ever been in are Jerry Maguire and The Outsiders. that's it, everything else was a piece of shit.

"but what about the complex issues of perception and relationships that were raised in Eyes Wide Shut?"

you're over thinking. it was a piece of shit. the only thing good about it were the venetian masks and nicole kidman's ass.

Minority Report looks horrible as well. i bet he uses that "stay alive, i will find you!" line. even though it's from Last of the Mohicans, tom somehow finds a way to say it in every movie. it's in his contract, right next to the 8 mandatory 6'4" bodygaurds clause.

The Morning News has a behind the scenes look at the making of the Minority Report trailer, including how they came up with the tagline:

'On June 21st, the intelligence...gets...real'

How about 'On June 21st, minorities...get...reported.'

Yeah, fabulous, that'll knock 'em dead in the urban markets. How about, 'Get ready for…Cruise control.'

comments:

ben stiller is a better tom crooze than tom crooze himself.

and nicole's ass is...delectable.

nice site.

posted by brent

oh my god, i have to go rent eyes wide shut now, you rat bastard.

posted by eric

i just read the most wonderful article on cruise in some magazine or another.. if it's not the one that spawned your rant, you really should check it out. heck if i can remember which magazine it was, (i know at least that it was from one of the "male-directed" (GQ, Details, etc.) or one of the entertainment magazines, and that it was in the library) but it went on for three pages about how cruise is a vapid waste of an actor who only gets hired to play tom cruise in his movies.

posted by sheldon

that is a nice ass..but come on you had to like him in top gun back in the day.

posted by sandro

agreed, ben stiller is a much better tom crooze.

and top gun was really about a man's struggle with his own homosexuality

They are this gay fighting fucking force, all right? And they're beating the Russians, the gays are beating the Russians. And it's over, and they fucking land, and Iceman's been trying to get Maverick the entire time, and finally, he's got him, all right? And what is the last fucking line that they have together? They're all hugging and kissing and happy with each other, and Ice comes up to Maverick, and he says, "Man, you can ride my tail, anytime!" And what does Maverick say? "You can ride mine!"

posted by pinder

dude, what about the color of money.

posted by Nick Carraway

you just ruined top gun forever. watching it will never be the same again.

posted by sandro

nick: i've never seen color of money. i just assumed it's like cocktail, only with a pool table instead of a bar.

sandro: hehehe

posted by pinder

heh, actually, if you want to explain the color of money, the article i read did it by claiming that it was actually one of three movies of his that ensured that he would not dissappear like, say, the brat pack. Recipe for a successful career as a movie star (NOT an actor): 1. be in some movies to get yourself noticed, like top gun 2. be in some movies where you play *second string* to established actors: color of money/newman, rain man/hoffman 3. be in a movie where the established actor is the bad guy: a few good men 4. enjoy the rest of your career

posted by sheldon

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