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I'm not sure, but I think the ad was about tittyfucking or something. I kinda ignored the words. Maybe Facebook has written special tittyfucking algorithms for targeted ads. The kid who started Facebook is like 20 or something, so its possible.
I need to start writing again. Tittyfucking is always a good place start.
]]>A) Myxomatosis B) Diazepam C) Diphenhydramine D) Polyethylene E) Melatonin F) Atropine
NOT CREDIBLEJay-Z
I know, I know, it's a badge of honor for underclass blacks to sell out. But at what point is it too much? Jay-Z seems to have crossed that threshold. And that's one of the reasons his new album stiffed. Maybe if he'd gone on Oprah...
Has it been a while since you heard some Fu-Schnickens? Try Prefix Mag's first podcast: Out-of-print Hip-Hop.
Cracked: The 25 Worst Rapper Names of All Time
New favourite word to the metal lexicon: Nigel Hipster ('nI-jel 'hip-st&r)
Noun: Anyone who appreciates or supports black metal for ironic reasons, or because they find it humorous.
Probably my favourite music writing of last year, Scott Seward's review of Agalloch - Against the Grain for Decibel Magazine. The entirety of the last paragraph is worth repeating:
Plus, it's so unbelievably beautiful and addictive. Agalloch records will make you feel like you're 16 again and are going to live forever. And if you are 16 they will make you feel like you are the ruthless lord of an intergalactic prison planet staffed by four-breasted alien sex slaves. Hell, make that six-breasted! Great metal is like a great drug and Agalloch is like extra-strong heroin laced with even MORE heroin. Whereas bands like Mogwai and Mono often demand that you eat your vegetables before you get any dessert ("Hey, Mr. Mono, are we there yet?" "Yes, we have almost reached top of Godspeed Mountain, and when we get there we will play supersonic psychedelic guitar freakout!" "Yeah, we know. It's the same every song." "What, you don't like supersonic psychedelic guitar freakout?!" "Yeah, yeah, whatever, my feet are killing me."), and even gods like Neurosis make you walk on glass before letting you peak on the mushrooms they're doling out at their desert boot camp, Agalloch's nine- and 10-minute songs are smooth and seamless; the whole ride is never anything less than puuuuuure pleasure. As Jesus is my mistress, I swear to you, this is fucking heaven on a stick, my friends. Fucking heaven on a stick.
You know what I can't stand. 4 minute Youtube videos. Who's got 4 minutes? Here's some shorter ones:
I thought for sure it said "Oprah's Big Gay Adventure".
Interviewer: Jim Jones also said he confronted you, but you were busy tying your shoes.Memphis Bleek: That doesn't even make sense. I buy a bunch of sneakers everyday, I don't have time to lace them.
Rap beefs are far more entertaining than WWE.
"There were a few anxious moments during the ceremony when Ms. Beaudoin fainted just as she opened the curtain to display her poster. VANOC staff hurried on to the stage to assist the 16-year-old who last year finished second in her category at the Canadian biathlon championships."
The Olympics aren't till 2010 and Canadian athletes are already choking.
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For her new song With Love, Hilary Duff made an entire video about how hot her neck is. Anything to distract from those horse teeth. I keep thinking thats Christian Cage in the video.
In other neck news, Feist shows off her neck on her new album:
Okay, that joke was sad.
Some mixes:
Does It Offend You, Yeah? - XFM Non Crossed Deal Mix (64MB, 28mins)
Lots of loud glitch. One of the few DJ mixes I haven't deleted right away. It's also good for running. The full tracklist, and nsfw-ish images, on their Myspace
Simian Mobile Disco - And Did We Mention Our Disco? DJ Mix (110MB, 97mins)
Recorded live Dec 1, 2006 for And Did We Mention Our Disco?. It's pretty long, and there's no setlist, but these guys are doing some of the best work right now. Subscribe to the Our Disco podcast.
Tim Sweeney - Beats in Space (75MB, 80mins)
Tracklist at DFA Remixes
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Telus is now offering you mobile porn:
Available on a "pay-per-download" basis, the service introduced on Jan. 8 will allow cellphone users to download pornographic photographs and videos, charging them an average of $3 to $4 for each item.
Maybe they'll make an ad of a monkey jerking off to Lily Thai. Also, what was this project called internally at Telus? Operation Beaver? *rimjob* i mean *rimshot*
What did all the fine people, working on Operation Beaver tell their parents during Christmas? "Yeah Mom, Telus is great. I'm working on this fantastic porn project right now. It's gonna blow the minds off everyone. Yeah, well our web analytics team found that 'gangbang' was being searched a lot on mobile web browsers, so I went to my boss and said 'we need to offer this ourselves to our clients'. Isn't it great?"
Telus says "there is a segment of the population that is interested in that content". Yeah, stupid fucking idiots. Telus is becoming more and more like AOL: a company for making money off dipshits. Who the fuck would pay $20/month for DRM music for your phone? Or $15/month for shitty mobile TV?
Really, if you pay $4 for a 150 x 300 picture of Jenna Jameson's meat drapes as your wallpaper, you deserve herpes.
]]>So because of the superior traction control in the Ford Fusion, it will defy gravity, and you can park on walls. Also, your girlfriend will take loads to the face.
Watch the guy's face, he's like "Oh look at what we have here? You want it? I know you do..." and then he brakes and *SPLASH* She smiles and gives that "oh you dog" look.
The only thing missing is Jack Bauer's overdub saying "The new 2007 Ford Fusion. Traction so good, your girlfriend will want cum on her face."
Don't tell me I'm looking way too into it. Theres no way this isn't intentional. Advertising people made this. Advertising people are evil. Evil like me. I'm sure someone in a review meeting said "Hey, doesn't it kinda look like he's blowing a load in her face?" And everyone stopped and looked over at the guy and replied "Yeah? So?" I bet he didn't say anything else for the rest of the meeting.
I'm pretty sure the original name for this model was the Ford Bukkake.
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We have a new winner! The "Kirk Van Houten Award for Excellency in Song Naming" goes to..... The Killers for a track from their new album Sam's Town called:
Bling (Confessions of a King)
Congratulations. Maybe for the next album you can throw in a "schizzle" or even a "off the heezy". This just in: Trucker Hats are awesome and Friendster is so cool!
It's still better than the line "I've got soul but I'm not a soilder".
Past Winners:
Slayer - Consfearacy
Black Eyed Peas - Don't Phunk With My Heart
Oasis - Guess God Thinks I'm Abel
Youth Group - Why Don't the Buildings Cry?
The Conan HD Bumper Art Gallery
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I fixed my Vancouver Film Fest Greasemonkey script for the crappy popup-driven Vancouver Film Festival site. The script replaces the javascript popup code for film detail pages with permalinks for films, making them easier to bookmark/view/send. Requires Firefox and Greasemonkey extension.
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Also on Firefox extensions, if you use Adblock extension, add a filter for http://*.intellitxt.com/*. It will prevent most of those shitty IntelliTXT double-underlined ad links that appear on random words that lots of sites are now using.
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Lupe Fiasco: I don't think I'm ready to listen to a rapper who wears glasses.
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I couldn't find them online so I typed up and posted the lyrics for the new Oneida - Happy New Year album.
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There's a new Pet Politics EP on Catbird Records. The last one was awesome. Combine them together, it's almost an album.
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Streethawk is a new Vancouver based online music mag started by Quinn and friends.
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The full cover of the new Mars Volta album Amputechture is great, but kinda uncomfortable. I've listened to the album about 5 times and I'm really enjoying it. Which is unexpected since I didn't really think I was ready for a new Mars Volta album so soon. But it's pretty digestable and not as concepty as the last two. Also good cause the new Mastodon has been kind of a let-down so far. Where are the hooks?
Anyways, so far the best MV track is called Viscera Eyes. Which makes me think of:
Could Omar and Cedric be WWE fans?
I really expected someone at Adam Riff to make a WWE / prog-rock joke before me.
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