Wednesday, January 14, 2004

2003 blog of the year? whatevs.org, obvs. it's a pop culture blog by Detroiter Uncle Grambo. If you've seen the site, you know that it pretty much has it's own lexicon or "peculiar slang". I've told lots of friends about it, and they agree, it's great, but then they inevitably ask me what "obvs" stands for, or what a "durst" is. others have had the same problems too. So, even though there's no buzz in explaining things, the following should get you quickly acclimatized, privatized, and accustomized:

The Unofficial whatevs.org Quick Reference Dictionary

Updated Jan 15: corrections and new entries!

Disclaimer: Accuracy and completeness of information are not guaranteed. Mostly it's just me guessing or coming to my own conclusion after having read the site for months.

best - best, obvs. usually used as the sentence "best!" or "so best!"
bovs - beyond obvious. thanks to brother, The Gorilla, and creator Seantizz
buzz - something has "buzz" if it's being talked about or is cool.
DB - douchebag. thanks to uncle grambo
durst - worst, as in Fred Durst of Limp Bizkit. worse than "no buzz", worse than worst. or wurst. eg. "Brit Brit's perf of "Me Against The Music" was side splittingly durst"
eff - fuck. obvs.
evs - ever. obvs.
FOW - Friends of Whatevs

This one took me a while to figure out, and even then, it's just a guess and I could be wrong. When you see "FOW Nation" enough times, you can infer that its what Uncle Grambo calls his crew of friends. One day it just came to me that it must stand for "Friends of Whatevs". I felt so smart that I did a victory lap with scissors. Some of the names in the FOW Nation you'll find mentioned often:
  • The Grizz
  • The Gorilla
  • Mandypants*
  • Peabs
  • JPMcKrengels

For a while I thought The Grizz and The Gorilla were the same person. Aren't grizzlies and gorillas both bears? No. They're not. I think one of them may be Uncle Grambo's brother too. And I think The Grizz writes for Detroit News. I also thought JPMcKrengels was a name of one of the muppets from FraggleRock.


no buzz - opposite of buzz. e.g. "Luis Guzman has no buzz w/out Soderbergh"
obvs - obviously, obvs.
p.h.c.f.y.s.b. - piping hot content for your sexy bod
shmears - seriously. shmears is short for shmeariously, which is short for seriously, like 'breakfast shmreakfast' mallrats stizz. thanks to damore and Peabs
schmobvs - obvs schmobvs, so it means obvs.
stizz - style. eg. "Uma Thurman? amazing face. great pins. tight butt. strangely appealing feet ('kill bill' stizz)"
tigs - tight. thanks to thekutch.
whatevs - whatever, obvs.
WOM - word of mouth
uggs - ugly


If I've missed any, or if you have any corrections, let me know.

comments:

btw, "DB" = douchebag. as for "shmears", i'm sure someone else will be piping in with a def. obvs.

posted by uncle grambo

good stuff...shmears is like 'seriously' shortened to seers w/ a 'sh' thrown in like 'breakfast shmreakfast' mallrats stizz.

posted by damore

While I'd like to think of myself as the hippest CNN anchor, and while I'd attribute that to my religious reading of Whatevs.org, I still have no idea what "tigs" means. Bovs.

posted by Anderson Cooper

tigs = tight. obvs.

posted by thekutch

i had the BEST new york moment when i was trying to explain to my boyfriend some uncle grambo lingo and i said "i'm not sure about schmear, i know i should be able to figure it out, but i can't" and some 40-something at the next table said "it means 'to spread.'" and i nearly tossed my cookies. i suppose she meant well but i couldn't help wanting to scream "shut up you dum DB!"

posted by namedropper

Although, in my youth I'd often fanticized about being able to eat Doozer construction projects and it would be cool to go to the Trash Heap for advice... my alias has nothing to do with Fraggle Rock. J and P are my 1st and middle initials and McKrengels is an Irishified version of my last name Krengel. I have no idea why... I'm Russian and Italian.

posted by JPMcKrengels

DB = douchebag

also, durst rhymes with worst, making it worse than worst. or wurst.

posted by c friggs

The asterisk issue also needs to be addressed by someone. That is, it's not "Mandypants," it's "Mandypants*," apparently. Why? It's not obvs to moi.

posted by Gee Kay

my guess it's Mandypants* instead of Mandypants in the same way it's stellastarr* and not stellastarr.

posted by pinder

Unless my brain is still effed from last nights tigalicious night of sledding at the D's east side Everest, Balduck Park, I don't see the latest addition to the whatevs linguistic collection of "bovs"! As issued by Seantizz and later translated by Gorilla as "beyond obvs"

posted by brother

Mandypants* did indeed earn her star during the great stellastarr* rift of 'aught three -- but unlike stella, she truly is a shining star, full-on Earth Wiz and Fiz stizz.
By the way, I am not the Grizz and the Grizz is not me; which is more obvs than schmobvs -- in fact it may be the recently coined bovs, which is beyond obvious. Natch. I am not a relative of the brothers Graham, but my middle name is Graham which is a wet gallon of Eerie tigs. Nice linguistic deduction. Obvs.

posted by gorilla

I always thought FOW was "Followers of Whatevs," but meh.

posted by akkmed

"Followers" is altogetherly too Jim Jones, natch. Although I DO make a wicked batch of Kool-Aid.

posted by Uncle Grambo

ilike fragels backyard and it doesnt matter unless its orange unkle gramabo

posted by jll

The cover art for Salival was fantastic, but you've got the Tree of Life posted upside-down on your site. Keter is on top, not Malchut. Will comes before Kingdom. I don't think it was intentional as it is oriented correctly on the Salival cover, and flipping over doesn't give you a tree of death.

posted by Ayin

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