this book has been a companion for years now. i've read countless books in between, but i've taken my time with this one. the slow buildup in the first few chapters provided just the right mix of excitement and inquiry. i knew i'd come back to re-read certain passages, so i highlighted the good ones in green. the next few chapters were more than i imagined; 'youthful exuberance' is the only phrase that comes to mind. the green highlighter ran dry so i used yellow. and then came the core content. the chapters with growth and development. pink one was the last of the 3-pack of highlighters i had bought.

it's been years, but i have yet to finish this book. i have one chapter left but i can't seem to bring myself to read it. i wondered why, so i flipped back to re-read the highlighted passages. i appreciated the green highlights even more the second time, but certain words and phrases in yellow instilled the initial foundation for my uncertainty today. it wasn't the words, but the subtle implications i hadn't picked up the first time. by the time i got to the pink, the words were was overshadowed by a strange feeling of indifference and regret. why did i think this was good? why couldn't i see and understand these words then like i can now? was it that long ago?

the bulk of the book is in my left hand. read and re-read. the pages remaining my my right hand feel light. must be only 15 pages left. its taken me this long to get here, but i can't finish this. i can see the end. i can feel the end. but i won't read it. i'm putting you on the shelf. it's been too long.

so long my friend.