Friday, August 09, 2002
It's so scary watching the news, how they built it all out of proportion, like Iraq was ever, or could ever possibly, under any stretch of the imagination be a threat to us whatsoever. But, watching the news, you never would have got that idea. Remember how it started, they kept talking about 'the Elite Republican Guard' in these hushed tones like these guys were the bogeymen or something.

"Yeah, we're doing well now, but we have yet to face-THE ELITE REPUBLICAN GUARD."

Like these guys were twelve feet tall, desert warriors.

NEVER LOST A BATTLE! WE SHIT BULLETS!

Yeah, well, after two months of continuous carpet bombings and not one reaction at all from them, they became simply, 'the Republican Guard'. Not nearly as elite as we may have led you to believe. And after another month of bombing, they went from 'the Elite Republican Guard' to 'the Republican Guard' to 'the Republicans made this shit up about there being guards out there'. We hope you enjoyed your fireworks show. "It was so pretty, and it took our mind off of domestic issues!"

- Bill Hicks, 1992.

***

the cool thing about Saddam is how he makes all his cabinet members grow the same moustache as his. i bet cabinet rank is established by moustache growth. the closer it looks to Glorious Leader, the higher your rank.

i do have that whole messianic complex thing, so whenever i get my cult church group going, it'll be pompadours and muttonchops for all. i promise.

comments:

haha. that moustache thing is hilarious. i'm going to have to expropriate that for a future conversation or two.

posted by brent

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