Me: Still faking disorders?

CONRAD: Of course. Chics love it.

ME: What's the latest?

CONRAD: I went back to depression. It's the easiest one to fake.

ME: What happened to the anxiety disorder? I thought it was working so well?

CONRAD: Was. But I learned that the part of the brain that controls the hormone that regulates anxiety also controls the bowels. So people with anxiety disorders usually have irritable bowel syndrome as well.

ME: Ew.

CONRAD: Yeah, chics don't love that.