the music edition

from the Drudge Report earlier today:

Guns n Roses will release the long awaited 'Chinese Democracy' album on Labor Day...

can you name any band on the charts today that even compares to gnr? can you name a guitarist from any current band that's better than slash? you can't. so then we're agreed, guns n roses is the greatest rock n roll band of all time forever and ever till the end of time to the max times infinity plus one.

axl, please don't suck.

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dave grohl, krist novoselic, just show this to the judge.

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moby has been crying that his album isn't selling because of something he calls the "pearl jam effect", meaning bands who have "tech-savvy" fans will do poorly in the charts because fans will burn the cd, whereas bands who have less technically savvy fans will do well on the charts because fans will buy the cd. moby, your album isn't selling because it's a piece of shit. stupid fucking vegan.

laura at the modern age has a nice little rant about this:

There's a reason Celine Dion still sells records- it's because PEOPLE ARE FUCKING IDIOTS, not because her fans are too stupid to burn her CD...

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i went to a record store last week:

pinder: i've looked around and don't see the album i want, could you look it up?
dude: sure, what's the band?
pinder: lovage
*dude types, scans screen
dude: music to make love to...
pinder: yeah, that's it
dude: it's in the rap section
pinder: holy crap, i like rap?
dude (laughing): apparently so.

i hate how you have to talk to someone at record stores to look up music. there should be self-help kiosks. i don't want to talk to some indie loser record clerk dude who thinks he's better than me. that's my job. that's the thing i do.

anyways, i really like this album. it's not rap. it's more like gorillaz. jennifer charles' sultry vocals are very sexy. the only downside are the spoken word tracks kid koala always does. they should have kept him in check like they did on the gorillaz album.

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more capsule reviews of albums:

P.O.D - Satellite
if you like Limp Bizkit and if you like Creed, then you're an idiot.

Puddle of Mud - Come Clean
what? you mean this is a different band then P.O.D? see above for the review then.

Our Lady Peace - Gravity
try as hard as you want, americans won't give a shit about you.

Tragically Hip - In Violet Light
also, see above review.

Papa Roach - Lovehatetragedy
oh god, more songs by rich white kids all upset because mom didn't buy them that new gameboy. lovehatetragedy indeed.

Green Day - Shenanigans
further proof that your career is over after you release a greatest hits album.

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Bono, or as Butthead used to call him, Boner, really needs a cock punch. I hate it when celebrities get a social conscience.