the oscars index:

estimated number of times i said "oh fuck off" during the telecast: at least 20

percentage of telecast actually watched: 20%

number of times i switched the channel to muchmusic, but switched back immediately because of a Creed video: 2

number of times i begged the winner to actually wing it instead of pulling out a piece of paper: 12

number of oscars tom wilkinson should have won: 1

number of times i said "who the fuck are you? you're just an actor": 5

number of times i noted how hollywood loves fellating itself: 2

number of times i said "where the fuck are whoopi goldberg's eyebrows?": 23