from the movie Rushmore:

Dear Max,

I am sorry to say that I have secretly found out that Mr. Blume is having an affair with Ms. Cross. My first suspicions came when i saw them frenching in front of her house and then I knew for sure when they went skinny dipping in Mr. Blume's swimming pool, giving each other handjobs while you were taking a nap on the front porch.

Your friend,

Dirk Calloway